Life Changing

" In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." - Bertrand Russell

 Now, before I get 'deep' and 'serious' about all this - the idea of hanging a question mark, made me think of this : Phonetic Punctuation

Ok, back to the real idea here - questioning long-held ideas.  Since I was young, I have had a knack for questioning things.  I have not always been respectful in the process, nor have I always found worthy conclusions to my inquiries.  Hopefully, I am at least getting better at handling the respectfulness, and finding grace in the unanswerable.

I have been accused of being argumentative - which is probably true, however, I have also been misunderstood in my motives at times of inquiry.  I really do want to know WHY we choose to do things one way over another, and I put a lot of thought into actions.  Because of this, I hold a view of the world, where actions are weighed against philosophies and ideals.  I'm working through a lot of this, so I may sound like I'm rambling or incoherent, please bear with me.

I crave a meaningful existence.  Not in an egotistical way. I am very aware of how short our time is on this planet and I want to choose the paths and actions which have lasting, logical reasoning behind them.  The older I get, the less bureaucracy and feigned importance I can tolerate.

As a parent, I try to meet our children's curiosity with patience, logic and peace.  My responses to their  questions at this point, can set the tone for their views of our world.  Children are sorting out how society works, just as much as they are sorting out how language works. Why can't I have candy as a snack? Because it's not nutritious, it doesn't help your body grow big and strong. We have to put healthy foods in our bodies to be healthy.  This provides a logical path. Not, "because I said so".  Gracie started first grade at our neighborhood elementary school, last year.  After a week of school, she had noticed some trends in the rules, and she was uncomfortable about them.  They were not logical in her mind, and she asked me about them. The first rule: boys and girls line up in different lines.  This bothered her because it was impractical and didn't make sense to her. She had asked about the rule at school, but her question was dismissed with a simple "just because".  With tears in her eyes, she explained to me that it would be easier if boys and girls lined up together, because one line of students fits through the door much easier than two lines.  If she had been given a logical path for this rule, perhaps she could have gone along with it without the feeling of unimportance.  The second rule: boys and girls can't play together at recess.  Now, at first, I thought she was mistaken - perhaps it was happening by chance, certainly not a school rule.  After hearing it spoken over the loud-speaker by the principal, she came home, in tears, again.  "They said it on the radio! On Mondays boys play on the toys and girls play on the swings. Why can't boys and girls play together?"  Again, she asked about it, and was dismissed, as if children don't need to know why adults  do things that affect them. In the end, she no longer attends that school, but I listened to her and we talked about  why we found those rules strange.  While I expect her to behave in a respectful way, I also expect her to have freedom to ask questions and have an opportunity to find solutions.

These illogical rules expand beyond neighborhood elementary schools, unfortunately.  We go along with a lot of things without questioning them.  Too many times we roll our eyes when someone asks a question, or implies there may be another way, or a better way.  Without reassessing our actions we set ourselves up for repeating history. Solutions are found through questioning.

Simply going along with something because 'it's always been done this way' cannot be good enough and reassessing it cannot be considered disrespectful or rebellious.  Getting to the roots of why we do what we do, can bring healthy changes.

I have been on a path of deconstruction for a while.  I am learning that the questions I ask, are not helpful for everyone. So, even though I thrive on getting to the root of things, not everyone is interested in that process.  And some of my decisions, which I believe are based on those things I have uncovered, have been offensive to some.  I will continue to remind myself it is more important for me to be truthful to myself, than for me to be understood by others.