We are...

I have been thinking a lot about self-confidence, lately.  Thinking about how that may be something we all shy away from teaching our kids.  While we have no problem telling other people how great they are, we tend to recoil at the thought of assessing our own strengths.  The problem with this unbalanced approach, is that we wait for others to tell us what we are, and who we are.  Giving other people so much power sets us up for a stressful relationship with our own personality.

I desperately want my children to know who they are - to be comfortable in their own skin - and to be able to face the world without fear of acceptance or rejection.  I certainly don't have a clear vision of what this all entails, but I do have some ideas about guiding them toward positive self-assessment.

Today, we started with lists of who we are.  I showed them my list, wrote the words in front of them, explained there are lots of great things about us - and encouraged them to think of words that describe their traits.

Here's mine:

 Gracie:  I am : 8, a good friend, an artist, silly, smart, happy, bouncy, growing

Peter's list included: cool, goofy, swimming, scientist
and Ella's: Beautiful, dancer, scientist, draw-er, silly, sister, singer, helper, brave and collector

I loved how the moods changed after lunch - and they were really catching on to their great traits.  Ella picked Iris's bottle up off the floor and with a smile, yelled, "I'm a HELPER!". 

It's important that they understand that they are in charge of who they are. It doesn't matter if someone else wouldn't use these same words to describe you.  It's also ok if your list changes occasionally.  As adults, there are certainly negative words we would add to the mix - things we don't necessarily love about ourselves  - but that's another lesson and another day.  Today, we were celebrating the parts we love about ourselves.

If this is an uncomfortable idea for you - I challenge you to write your own list, today! Just start with "I am...." and finish the sentence with positive things you love about yourself.