Always on your side

I read something recently about leaving notes for your children.  Forgive me, I can't remember what blog it was, but the mother was taking pictures of small post-it notes written to her children, left where they would find them on their own.  One note read: "I am always on your side - love Mom".  This made me smile - and gave me that warm-fuzzy feeling, you know that feeling... the one where you just completely identify with something, but hadn't come up with the right words on your own?

A couple weeks ago, we were at student/parent/teacher conferences at the elementary school.  While we were in the hall, waiting for our turn to speak to a teacher, we encountered a conversation between a parent and his child - which I will not soon forget.  Apparently, the 4th grade son, had used a curse word at recess.  It had come up in the conference with the teacher - and the father decided it was best to give his son a public lecture, in the hallway, in front of about a dozen children and other parents.  The lecture was given in such a way, so that this man could somehow make a public speech, at the expense of his own child's confidence and respect.  He asked his son how many of his friends even knew he was a Christian... and equating his son's use of a curse word at recess to publicly dishonoring Jesus - and how disappointed he was that his son wasn't being an 'honorable man', nor choosing to 'be like Jesus' - and how sad it makes Jesus to know that his son didn't want to be like him, etc.  It was so shocking to hear someone speaking to their child about an indiscretion on the schoolyard as if it had serious eternal consequences - and even more horrifying to know that this conversation was happening in a public setting.

I walked away from the school, with a feeling like I had been punched in the gut - I was so put-off by this public berating of a child and the pious air of accomplishment of the father.  And I was conflicted as to which part of this was most detestable.  In the end I think it was that the father was willing to embarrass and devalue his own child, in order to make a public declaration of his own religious rules.

I am not that parent - I will never be that parent.  I sincerely hope that my children never feel like they are second tier to anything I think or feel.  Discipline should not be about 'what pleases mom', but about how healthy actions result in healthy reactions.  Lying is a bad idea because it creates an environment of distrust - not because 'it makes mom disappointed in me'.

So, for future reference, I will say loud and clear, "I am always on your side!" - If I am mistaken, what am I risking? That my children, may take advantage of that? perhaps, but more likely that my children will trust me, because I trust them.  With the hope that my children will never ever question whether I love, approve, or have pride in them - I will absolutely risk sticking my neck out for them.

Here's to a future of holding our heads high and loving each other with no restraints!

Grace Naydeen

Today we are celebrating Gracie's birthday!  Her birth, both, seems like yesterday AND a long long time ago.  Life before parenthood, seems so distant and blurry, but 8 years flew by.  I can't think of anything that brings more joy into a home, than children.  Gracie was our first joy infusion.  It feels like an overwhelming responsibility when you have your first child.  As if any book or guide could prepare you for how to be a parent.  With Gracie, there really wasn't a lot to learn.  She was so easy-going and content, nothing ever really bothered her.  She slept through the night near the end of her first month.  She rarely cried.  She ate and played and babbled - and keeping up with her was a breeze.

 When Gracie became a 'big' sister, she was/is a natural.  She is responsible, helpful and diligent.  

She loves having her picture taken...

She is comfortable telling you, when she doesn't like something...like this hat.

She's calm and content.

She has short legs! And is learning that it's not such a bad thing.

 Gracie has a great sense of humor! Here's her newest joke : "How do chickens say 'precisely'?  Eggsactly." (she made it up all by herself)

She  lets her daddy tease her - and she laughs (most of the time).

Gracie is ready to take on the world!

Gracie is daddy's girl... and she knows it.

Gracie loves to sing - and has a lovely voice.

She LOVES being big sister! And she has mentioned several times, how much she likes having a baby sister.  When 'the littles' are bothering her, she likes to take refuge, with baby Iris. I think they'll be great friends.

Gracie is intelligent and sensitive - and can't decide whether she'd like to be a veterinarian, a baker, an artist or a first grade teacher.

Gracie is kind, thoughtful and patient.
Grace is wise and mature - she is an excellent problem solver.  She is passionate about wasting less and caring for the Earth.  It puts me at ease, knowing that kids like Gracie will lead the way for living a different way in the future.  When 'too much packaging' offends her so - I know she will not allow that sort of indifference for resources and will find solutions in her own lifetime.  She is also passionate about justice.  When something is unkind or unfair, she is affected in such a way, that I KNOW she will not stand for injustice as an adult.  This is so encouraging to me, that such a quiet, thoughtful girl is moved to action when faced with something that doesn't quite sit right with her soul.  I am endlessly proud of Grace and the girl she has become and am so excited to see what a beautiful woman she will be!
Happy Birthday Gracie Girl - may you live life this year, like never before!

Around here...

Gracie has listened to The Sound of Music soundtrack on Daddy's record player about 100 times this week.  She keeps asking me about the lyrics or the characters, but I simply don't remember the film as much as the music.  She's certain she will love it - so we are on the lookout for the film.  Besides, it's fun to say 'auf wiedersehen'.  With the turn over on her chapter books these days, it's confirmed that she loves to read - which brings a smile to my face.  There's nothing more empowering than the ability to learn on your own.

Peter has been so tired and complaining of aching legs.  Poor kid is growing so fast it's hurting him!  We talked about bones growing and how much energy it takes to make our bodies grow.  I asked him if he thought he'd be taller than me soon.  He said he's sure he'll be taller than me, but not too soon. (what a relief).  For weeks he had been contemplating sharing this song with his classmates, but he kept saying he might be too 'nervous'. He finally decided it was worth it, and decided to share a song with his class this week.  He sang it through once slowly, so they could hear all the words, then he sang it fast so they could hear how They Might Be Giants sing it on their album.  Again, he was the talk of the class - and he's been asked to share that song in their next Kindergarten program.  He hasn't decided if he's ready for a performance, but he is proud that his teachers and class liked the song so much.

Ella got her ears pierced, as per her own request for her birthday.  She was so brave and in control, while she sat in that big chair waiting to get her first ear pierced.  When the woman took the gun from her ear, I thought maybe it had misfired, because Ella hadn't so much as flinched! The next ear was the same reaction.  Sheer determination!  Also, Ella likes to pretend like she's grumpy... and there's only a couple ways to make her smile.... hair mustache is an instant hit - try it, you'll like it!

Iris Jane is waving a lot this week - it's her new greeting, request, sign of excitement and trick.  We've been trying to teach her to blow kisses, but she mostly likes to make raspberry noises and laugh.  She isn't crawling, yet - but that's not so uncommon in this house, with nearly all floors being hard surfaces, she mostly pushes herself backward - then gives up and rolls wherever she wants to be.  She also rolls into a sitting position, which is quite impressive - so maybe she can join the circus later, with that trick in her repertoire.  

We had a strange week, with kids on break for parent/teacher conferences - so we enjoyed some time together that we don't usually have mid-week.  Peter and I baked bagels on Thursday morning.  We started the dough on Wednesday night and boiled and baked them the next morning.  He loves to be in on the whole process, and he was so proud to make his favorite bread.  We used this recipe and I will use it again.

See that little kitchen?  Yep... that's where all the magic happens around here - in spite of it's ridiculous size.  One day, we will remedy that - in the meantime, we'll just do what we always do... the best we can with what we've got!

Happy Weekend Everyone!
*I noticed I had set the comments section of this blog, to not allow comments from non-blogger-members - I have adjusted that, I hope it's helpful for you.

Ella Joy

I had no intention of having another baby, so soon.  Peter was nearing six months old, and he had not been a breeze, like his older sister.  He had been fussing and irritable and starting to become mobile.  He had weaned himself very quickly and I was feeling out of sorts and so tired.  But that should have been my first clue - I was so tired, because I was pregnant with Ella!  I will admit it - I cried when the test was positive.  I took a second and third test, just to be sure.  When I told David, he laughed - wiped my tears and grinned from ear to ear. (That is his usual response to that sort of news.)  By the time she was born, I had 3 children under 3 years old.  And really, it was as crazy as it sounds!  Luckily, for me, Schram babies sleep and eat like champs!
The thing is, with 3 small children, so close together - you just live life, at a different pace.  I have a really hard time remembering what I did during the day, with a 3 year old, a 1 year old and an infant.  A blur.  I do recall the feeling of immense satisfaction in a simple task like grocery shopping! With a toddler in the basket, another toddler in the child seat and an infant in her front carrier.  Every task took a bit longer, but I got it done!
Then Ella turned 6 months or so, and we started to glimpse her precocious personality! This picture sums it up, perfectly - this is at her 1st birthday.  She would get annoyed by something and flop back, and look away :)  it still cracks me up... and she STILL does that!

Ella is hilarious.

Ella loves to talk about her imaginary life... If you let her, she will talk for hours about her adventures.  When she was 3 she went to 'pink girl school', she had to take a purple train there everyday, and they sometimes took a boat to Africa.

 Ella is gorgeous.

 Ella is daring and brave and loves to out-do her big brother and big sister.  When it looked like Peter might learn to ride his 2-wheeler before her, she practiced all weekend, so she could be the first one to ride a 2-wheeler.

 Ella is a corker.  She is not afraid to fight back, no matter who you are or how much older you might be.  She definitely rules the siblings.

 Ella L O V E S to dance.  She takes it very seriously.  She gets the most determined and dramatic look on her face and then dances her heart out! They dance at her school on Fridays - this is the outfit she wears 'for dancing'.  I have tried to talk her out of it, but she is so serious about it.  "It's DANCE day, mom!"

 Ella is transparent with her emotions.  This is Ella at the Portland zoo, mad at me for taking her picture - which reminds me of her Great Great Grandma Martha.

 Ella is joyful.

Ella Joy turns five tomorrow.  FIVE. I have asked her several times if she'll consider going back to 3 for just this one year, so she won't get any older.  She rolls her eyes at me and says she's going to be 5 because you can't go back to 3.  I have a feeling Ella is going to do big things!  I ask her what she wants to be, in the future, but she nearly always tears-up at the idea of not living with her family. I'm sure that will change in a few years, but for now, it's nice to know, she can't imagine life without us.  I have assured her, she can live here as long as she wants.  Here's to FIVE, Ella, you will live it to the fullest, like you do every single day!